Jack Robbit
by XxBlabberMouthxX
Summary: Bilbo was more like Beorn than we though and Little bunny Was kinda literal? Will eventually be Thilbo. Posting for a friend who took it down. Very Very AU


"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet

hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare,

sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole,

and that means comfort." (The hobbit)

Comfort was not something Bag End was lacking, Bag End is the home of a very respectable hobbit of the clan of Baggins to be exact his name Bilbo Baggins.

Now you might ask what a Hobbit is, well the story is a long one so it would do us good to start from the beginning.

There was once one species of shifters. These people could shift into one specific animal and the animal ran in the blood of the clans. Those who could shift into larger animals tended to marry with those with large animal shift as well, the same with smaller shifts. Soon they split into two different groups of people the smaller shifts became smaller and the large shifts larger.

The large shift were proud of the power the power their clans held and became mercenaries to the highest bidder. The clans were fighting against other clans. Their woman went to war with them and until too late did they notice their dwindling numbers.

The smaller shifters moved west across the mountains to field of rolling hills called The Shire. There continued shifting but, did so where no one beside fellow Hobbits could see. They lived that way for many years but, the fear of war and destruction still fill their hearts.

For few clans could actually fight in their shifted form, there were many rabbits, song birds, deer, and peaceful animal shifts in the shire. But, there were a few infamous families such as the Underhills and Tooks who shifts were dogs, wild cats and wolves.

Bilbo Baggins was a very respectable Baggins with the Baggins Shift of a jack rabbit. But the his mother Belladonna Took had very strong blood and didn't leave Bilbo untouched. Bilbo Baggins had two shifts, not that any other hobbits were any wiser. In fact now that his parents passed he was the only one who knew he had two shifts.

It is a beautiful sunrise in The Shire the morning the adventure starts. The sky in the east glowed a bright red in warning of a storm coming through soon in the future.

Bilbo Baggins sat outside Bag End smoking his pipe watching the sunrise, enjoying the familiar warm smoke of old toby tobacco he grew in his own garden.

Bilbo sat there late into the morning ignoring his rumbling stomach as he missed first breakfast, to sit in the warm sun enjoying the heat of the sun bearing down on him.

Bilbo opened his eyes as a shadow fell over him, He found a old man with a staff and pointy blue hat.

"Good Morning" Bilbo said meaning it the extended period in the sun put him in a good mood.

"What do you mean?" The old man said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is morning

is to be good one?"

"All of those at once I suppose" Bilbo replied "And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain. If you have a pipe about you, sit down and have a fill of mine! There's no hurry, we have all the day before us!"

" I would but, I have no time today for I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone." Said the bearded man.

Bilbo's tookish blood began to race at adventure but his Baggins side the one he had not been suppressing his entire life, shook his head adamantly and said to the man

"I should think so - in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them!"

Bilbo picked up a stack of paper he had brought out with him to sort and began to read. Stubbornly refusing to look up at the older man who stood there still leaning on his staff.

Bilbo began to fidget uncomfortably under the man's gaze till he snapped.

"Good morning!" he said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water."

The man look down at him a frown crossing his face as he said "What a lot of things you do use Good morning for! Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off."

Bilbo blushed embarrassed at the way he was treating the stranger as he said "Not at all, not at all, my dear sir! Let me see, I don't think I know your name?"

The old man scoffed and said "Yes, yes, my dear sir - and I do know your name, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. And

you do know my name, though you don't remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to be good morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

Gandalf...Gandalf Bilbo knew that name then it clicked.

"Gandalf, Gandalf! Good gracious me! Not the wandering wizard that gave Old Took a pair of magic diamond studs that fastened themselves and never came undone till ordered? Not the fellow who used to tell such wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows' sons? Not the man that used to make such particularly excellent fireworks! I remember those! Old Took used to have them

on Midsummer's Eve. Splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening!"

On a second thought he added "Didn't know you were still in business"

The old man now identified as gandalf said " Well at least you remember my fireworks fondly"

"Why don't you come for tea tomorrow evening" Bilbo asked as soon as it was out of his mouth he began to berate his Tookish side.

"I think I will" exclaimed the wizard as he pushed off his staff and began down the well worn path passing in front of Bag End.

That night as the moon rose in the sky, Bilbo struggled to find sleep. His mind filled with the tales his mother told him as a child, of adventure and friendships tested through trials. As sleep finally took hold of Bilbo, he dreamed of the nights his mother shifted with him in his Tookish form. The Shire lit only by the light of the moon as they ran over the rolling hills.

The next morning Bilbo began preparing for Gandalfs visit. That meant packing away anything remotely breakable. Big folk always seemed to make such a mess.

As the day wore on Bilbo found himself glancing out the window looking down the path in front of Bag End that led to Bree. Each time it took Bilbo's Baggins side longer and longer to come back to his senses.

As Bilbo finished putting a very Tookish dinner filled with meat in the oven, he went out to his garden on the south side of his Hobbit hole. There in the garden Bilbo shifted his form melting into that of a jack rabbit.

Bilbo stood up on his hind legs, his ear twitching back in forth. When he heard no strangers he began to run, his powerful hind legs propelling him forward. He ran through the Shire neighbors waving at him as he shot down the path leaving a small trail of dust.

Bilbo knew shifting into a rabbit would help him suppress his Tookish side. Bilbo also knew he needed all the control he could get. Bilbo had been suppressing his Tookish side so much that when it tried to take over it could force him to shift. That was not a pleasant thought, any ground his Tookish side gained took week for the Baggins side to get back.

The rabbit ran to where the path met with a trickling stream, there Bilbo went and got a small drink. As Bilbo looked down in the stream a hand grabbed him around the scruff of his neck lifted him into the air.

When Bilbo caught sight of his capture he began to struggle harder. Holding Bilbo Baggins from the scruff of his neck was a dwarf! A dwarf wearing a fur coat!

"You would make a pitiful meal" said the dwarf poking Bilbo.

Bilbo waited till the hand came back to poke him again. Then brought up his hind legs and dug them into the dwarfs arm.

The black haired dwarf dropped him with a shout. Bilbo fell on his paws and ran.

When Bilbo reached Bag End he was covered in sweat and dust his sides heaving. Once he regained his breath Bilbo shifted back to his hobbit form.

Bilbo got cleaned up and prepared for Gandalf visit. The run the dwarf had not helped now Bilbo found himself peering out every window he came across. His tookish side wanted to be released and go find the dwarf. What was a dwarf doing in the Shire?

As he waited for the roast to finish, Bilbo watched storm clouds gather in the west. The next day it be coming down in torrents Bilbo would be willing to bet.

Bilbo was finishing placing the roast on the table when there was a knock at the door. His set the roast down between the two plates he had set.

Bilbo went to the door muttering " Actually on time! Can't say I was expecting that"

Pulling the door open Bilbo did not find Gandalf raising his fist to knock again. No, Bilbo found a dwarf on his door step. A very large dwarf who was wearing furs but, on his tunic not a fur coat.

The dwarf bowed and stated "Dwalin at your service!"

Then stepped pass Bilbo into the hallway where he hung his blue cloak. The Dwalin walking into his home jolted Bilbo out of his shock.

"Bilbo Baggins at yours" Bilbo replied bowing to the dwarf who was looking around Bag End curiously. After a moment of awkward silence, Bilbo walked toward his dining room gesturing for Dwalin to follow him saying.

"I was just about to have tea. Would you like to join me?"

The Dwarf grunted and followed him to the dining room. As Dwalin sat down Bilbo started pulling out another plate. Thinking this probably Gandalf's doing, Bilbo had a bone to pick with him.

As Bilbo finished setting another place at the table there was a knock at the door.

Bilbo rushed to the door pulling it open, ready to ask Gandalf why there was a Dwarf sitting at his table. To find instead of Gandalf, another dwarf.

This dwarf had a white beard that reached his waist and a droopy round nose.

The new dwarf bowed from his waist his left hand holding his beard from the ground and said "Balin at your service"

Bilbo sighed and stepped out of the doorway replying "Bilbo Baggins at yours."

As Balin stepped into the room there was a shout from the Dining room doorway.

"Balin!"

The two dwarves obviously good acquaintances from the head but they shared in Bilbo hallway, walked towards the dining room.

Bilbo began pulling out more food from his pantry setting on the table. Wondering what Gandalf thought he was doing inviting these dwarves over to Bag End.

The next half hour was a blur in Bilbo's mind do to the shock of having two more dwarves who called themselves Fili and Kili . Then while those two went to raid Bilbo's pantry there was another knock this time there was three dwarves called Dori, Nori, and Ori.

As the three dwarves made their way to the dining room, there was another knock. This time Bilbo was not going to let those dwarves come strolling in. So Bilbo open the door just a crack, to have 5 dwarves leaning against the door. Those dwarves landed with a thud in Bilbo's Doorway, landing on Bilbo who had not moved out of the way.

As Bilbo climbed to his feet after the biggest dwarf of the group had rolled off him. Standing in front of Bag End with a cursed twinkle in his eyes was Gandalf.

Before Bilbo could stop himself he was growling deep in his throat, murder flashing in his eyes. The dwarves nervously took a step back as Gandalf smiled at the growling hobbit.

Gandalf stepped into the Hobbit hole smiling in wonder.

"I did not know Hobbit's growled!" The wizard exclaimed his eyes sparkling with mirth.

The dwarves looked at Gandalf like he was crazy but, Bilbo stopped growling cleared his throat straightened his waist coat.

"I think even the most polite elf would growl at a wizard who brought.." Bilbo paused for a moment doing a quick head count. "Twelve dwarves to tea without a warning!"

Gandalf ran his hand through his beard tugging at it thoughtfully "Must have slipped my mind" He remarked cheerfully.

Bilbo made a noise of disgust as he turned around to face the dwarves. Who shuffled their feet while looking anywhere but, Bilbo.

Bilbo sighed " The dining room is through there, so it the kitchen. Help yourself to the pantry as well."

The dwarves faces lit up at the mention of food, they all quickly headed towards the kitchen. Bilbo shut the door behind Gandalf biting his tongue to keep from growling at the wizard.

"We are missing a dwarf." Stated Gandalf, who was peering into the dining room watching the dwarves clean out Bilbo's pantry.

"You're missing a dwarf!" exclaimed Bilbo, throwing arms up exasperated. " I have twelve! I am certain that is plenty of dwarves for the entire Shire!"

"Ah but, I need thirteen for an adventure." Replied Gandalf calmly.

"An Adventure! Is that what all this is about? I don't want any adventure here!" Bilbo ranted.

"It is only an offer they will leave by dawn tomorrow."

"They better the shire has no need for twelve dwarves!" Bilbo said shuddering slightly from the memory of the dwarf's hand on the back of his neck.

"Hmm you never know, might liven the place up a bit." Gandalf said thoughtfully.

"Well I can assure you no Hobbit here in the Shire will agree with you." Bilbo snapped back.

Bilbo stepped around Gandalf and went to try to stop the dwarves from throwing his mothers porcelain dishes. Bilbo ran from the dining room to the kitchen to the pantry then back again, following hungry dwarves with arms full of Bilbo's winter stores.

As the dwarves began clearing the dining table, there was knock at the door. The dwarves fell silent as Bilbo walked to the front hall, he looked back nervously at the dwarves.

"Better not keep him waiting lad" advised Dwalin.

Bilbo nodded and pulled the round door open wide.

There standing on his doorstep was the dwarf that had picked him up by the scruff of his neck, earlier that day. Bilbo froze in irrational terror as the dwarf bowed from his waist and said

"Thorin Oakenshield at your service."

Bilbo was save from having to give a reply, as two shouts of "Uncle!" was heard and the dwarf was being hugged by Fili and Kili.


End file.
